Alone

I'm on my friend's Facebook, looking at all these peoples' facebooks, feeling bad about myself. I'm envious of other people,  no matter their circumstances. Someone could be living a life I don't even want and I find a reason in my mind to desire it more than my own life.

How do I look at myself with the same respect and admiration?
How do I feel grounded in myself, trusting myself?
How do I live my dreams?
How do I love myself?
How do I love others?

Time is passing, and I feel like it's passing by. I feel stuck. I feel tired. I feel sad over how much I'm missing, all the happiness, joy, and contentment that I could feel. Sometimes I feel guilty about what I know I should be feeling and what I'm actually feeling.

I feel frustrated by all these expectations that are not within my reach. I told myself last night, I only have one goal right now. To do the 10-day beauty challenge and to meditate for five minutes every morning. That's all. And that is hard for me too. Some days I just don't want to tell myself I'm beautiful.

I'm in a weird mood