In the past, I've been in relationships that didn't work. I was drawn to them out of insecurities, not out of real connection. And the results spoke for themselves--I always felt like I needed to change. I got into a relationship that couldn't work, blamed myself for it not working, thought there was something wrong with me, and it ended and it confirmed all of that.
Now I'm starting to understand what I both want and need in a relationship. I am a sensitive, emotional person. I want real love that leads to a happy life together, and I deserve a partner who is as devoted as I am. I need a partner who is patient and supportive of my sensitivity, not someone who judges me for it. I would like someone who offers me the kind of security and reassurance I need to help me conquer my insecurities, not someone who makes them worse by reacting poorly. In some ways I've been raised to feel comfortable with the judgment and poor reactions, because that's what I received from my parents. But now I want to thrive, to live, and that means finding someone who will treat me in a way that brings out the real me, the best possible me. And then maybe, I could do the same for him. I may not be at a place to be ready for that now, but I will work on it.
I don't need an analyzer who constantly makes me second guess myself. It's not my fault I second-guess myself. It's part of my nature, and that's OK. I can find someone who is more sensitive.
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