A gap, a deep, endless gap.
THAT is what is wrong. A gap that hovers just between my ego, my disorder, and my real self. A gap that stays, a gap that grows when it senses I'm trying to close it. THAT is what is wrong.
Why try? I ask myself. Why try, when the moment I try is the moment that gap grows? Why does it seem like my attempts to recover only result in worsening the disorder?
What am I doing wrong? Or more fittingly, what is wrong with me?
This gap tries to protect me from the extreme pain on the inside. But this gap is causing me extreme pain on the outside. Protecting me from hell by putting me in hell. I can't do anything without myself, why does it keep me from myself?
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