Change of Plans?

Well, tomorrow is when I go to take my test, and I just altered my plans and may be visiting my friend directly after instead of coming home afterwards. This change of plans has made me kind of anxious, and I think I intentionally created this anxiety because I didn't feel comfortable with the calm. This is not the first time I have done this. It's like a form of protection. As though, subconsciously I know how prepared I am for my exam so I want some kind of "out" in case something happens, some excuse. It makes a lot of sense.

So I'm going to attempt to turn it around. I am scared. I am anxious. I am nervous. I am all of the above. And that's supposed to happen. All of my feelings simply are, no shoulds or woulds. I think coming home is a better idea for me, because it means I can decompress and relax. I wanted to avoid that so I changed plans at the last minute.

Letter to myself: Do NOT let anxiety let you feel bad or like you need an excuse for this test. You're scared, and you're taking this test anyway. In fact, that's a big part of WHY you are taking this test. Because you are scared. Because it brings up insecurities. And you've HANDLED them, you've supported yourself, you've encouraged yourself. You got here, HERE, because of all the love from God and from within. You CAN do this and you DON'T need to run to an old coping method of changing plans or organizing something. You're afraid, you're scared. That's ok. That's supposed to happen. Take the test and come home. I promise you love will be there I promise promise promise you will feel good and proud and eager to come home. You deserve to take it without any "cushions." Because now, your cushion after your test is you, is love, is contentment, is knowing you will feel content and loving towards yourself after the test. I promise.