I'm getting ready to send a letter back to work, requesting a return. I feel nervous and scared, because for months I could kind of get by assuming that I would go back. But now I have to face the real possibility that I won't get approval for return. And if that happens, well, I'm terrified of that. My security blanket I've been living on this year will be remove from under me.
I just want to know that I will be going back, I want to know that I've got that ahead of me. I'm so terrified of the possibility that I don't, and what I will do then. I'm just scared, and now the deadline for my letter is approaching and I have to face all these fears. The only thing I can do is send my letter, and leave it in the hands of the people who can decide whether I can still contribute. I'm so scared tonight, feeling all the uncertainty.
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