Gratitude List

Tonight I'm in it, in ED's grip. I feel numb, wanting control.

Even tough it's hard right now, I'm going to write a gratitude list tonight.

1) I'm grateful for the online support groups, who give me patience and understanding
2) I'm grateful for my emotions, for showing me there's something wrong
3) I'm grateful to my body for its strength today-going on a long walk
4) I'm grateful for my courage today, studying even though I knew it might trigger me
5) I'm grateful for good books, that give me an escape when I need it
6) I'm grateful to my brain--doing a lot of math today :-)
7) I'm grateful to God, for blessing me and my family with good health despite everything
8) I'm grateful for my friend who told me I was beautiful today when I needed to hear it
9) I'm grateful for coffee shops
10) I'm grateful for my dedication and persistence in recovery-I am worth more than this disorder

I'm trying to imagine what it would feel like not to obsess about food every day, to live each day for the joys and twists of that day and think about food only when it's meal time, only when I'm physically hungry. I imagine I would wake up, have some tea, slowly put myself together for the day. Then I might run some errands, study, chat with a friend, do something fun like dance class or watch a movie. I would be in command (NOT control).