Today has been rough. I've felt the need to eat sugar many times during the day, and it feels like all I think about is food right now--how much I ate, when I will get to eat again.
Before I left for the weekend, I had some valuable insight. I knew that staying true to my plan wouldn't be that hard when I was out of town because I would be preoccupied, but I would really feel the anxiety of being out of my routine when I got home. Not just that, but I had to go right back to work (I work part-time only) at a job that causes a lot of stress and in the past has triggered my binges. So the fact that I made it through today without binging, well, is pretty great. I have been thinking about it a lot, but I haven't binged.
When I got home from work, I really wanted some sugar. Sugar is one of those foods that's really difficult for me to balance into my diet, because I know the danger of cutting it out all together as well as of eating too much of it. And I am such an "all or nothing" person that finding that balance feels strange to me. I'm still working on it. I ate some whipped cream and chocolate sauce (I know, right?) as a snack, careful not to go over my calorie intake for snacks. But I know that's not the best thing to eat, because it didn't fill me up or make me feel good.
On the other side, I stayed true to my food plan. I ate a small yogurt parfait for breakfast, and rice and curry for lunch. I managed to stay true to my plan for lunch and that was actually really difficult, so the whipped cream doesn't seem like such a big deal right now.
That's all for now.
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