Irony and Anger

The irony of holding onto resentment for a boy who hurt you, only to discover that he's living a great life and just landed his dream job

The irony of playing the easy, perfect daughter when you feel completely worthless and destroyed--as a result of their parenting choices

The irony of making their lives easier because they made yours so fucking hard

The irony of going to old childhood habits

The irony, the anger

I don't want to live like this anymore. I don't want to be insecure. I want to know who I am. I want to be secure. I want to be whole. I want to be free. I want to be happy. I want to be fulfilled. I want to be STRONG. I want to feel power in my very core, that radiates outward. I don't want to fucking fake it anymore. I am so fucking tired of this life. I want more. I want ME, alive, whole, powerful, able, confident, fully completely and totally. I'm so fucking done.