Self-Love tonight

I've been binging for the last three days. This one came out of nowhere, triggered by some minor insecurities I felt at work. And I've been crying a lot the last few days, feeling desperate, looking up, in, out, down, anywhere for some hope. I know that my eating disorder is trying to win, and I'm not about to let it.

Some part of me is holding on to this eating disorder. So I just want to write a little note to that part, and I'm asking God to help this message get through to the part of me that's afraid to let go:

I know you're scared. I know you think you're not good enough for real life, for real love, for real support. I know how you think this eating disorder is the only thing that's there for you. But. It. Is. Not. True. You are so much more, there IS so much more to YOU. You are beautiful in every way, and you deserve love in every way. God is here, and He will help you. And you will get stronger, and YOU will be the one to kick out the eating disorder.

Things I Like About Myself
I like that I'm a good listener. I like that I forgive my friends easily. I like that I am determined. I like that I always look for the truth. I like that I am willing to change. I like that I am strong. I like that I am kind. I like that I think the dumbest things are funny. I like that I learn. I like that I am here, journaling.

Please know that you are more than this disorder, that you have so much love and kindness in your heart that you can feel. Kick it out. Then we can start the real work. Of really feeling, really loving, really...moving. FAST.